i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
