he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
