I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
