do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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