I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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