She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
