How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
