member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
