I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
