I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
