My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
