Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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