Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
