Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
