sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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