Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
