and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
