I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
