my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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