JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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