I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
sex in a hospital.. check
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
