Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
