pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
