what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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