When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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