And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
