My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
