He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
