You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
