Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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