Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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