chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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