It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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