Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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