I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
