shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
