She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There's even glitter on my cock...
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