Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
