its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
