He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
