I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
