every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
