i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
