Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
