That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize