she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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