"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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