YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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