Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
