True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
