This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
