The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
