two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
