he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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